• Maryam Chishti

Updated: Nov 18, 2020

Let’s get right to it. According to a recent analysis from the Pew Research Center, more young adults in the U.S. are living with their parents than at any time since the Great Depression^. If you are a young adult living with your parents, or a parent living with a young adult, I’m writing today with you in mind with ways to remember why you love your family, how to love and support them better, and avoid burnout. Much of this also applies to families and people that live together from all walks of life. I called up my friend Dr. Marcie (you guys may know her from our most recent episode of Adulting with Jane- “Don’t Panic!”) for a few tips.

1. Realize that your family dynamic is not, and should not be the same as it was in your childhood.

“When you are parenting little kids, the idea is to teach them everything,” says Dr. Marcie. This guardianship mentality can be a difficult adjustment for parents to handle when their young adult has moved back home. The adjustment is equally jarring for young adults, who have become used to their own independence and privacy for some time now. When an adult's desire to parent impacts the young adult's desire to be independent, you have conflict. Therefore, It’s important as parents to “trust that you did ‘it’ well when they were little, and support your kids [only] when asked.”

2. Set health/COVID boundaries together as a family ahead of time.

Your family should come up with some basic ground rules to follow together, so you all feel safe coming home to each other. It’s important in your discussion not only lay out what each of your minimums and maximums are, but-what are the in-betweens? What concessions can you make, and what can you not comfortably live with? “Those decisions are the hardest thing.” says Dr. Marcie. You can all agree that it’s not okay for you to go party right now, but what about having one friend over to watch a movie? That’s where conflict can easily start, so it’s best to talk these things out as much as you can ahead of time. Don’t wait for your friend to come over to watch that movie before learning your mother has a problem with it, and don’t ever shame your kids (or parents) for their choices. Discuss their personal boundary preferences with them.

3. Navigate space and time with your housemates.

When it comes living and likely working at home, especially in cramped quarters:

“Know sh*t's going to happen,” says Dr. Marcie. “There are corporate business meetings where someone is going to walk by in the background in a bathrobe. That’s just humanity right now.” Those moments will happen, and they are out of your control. However, what is in your control is advocating for and communicating the times where you will actually need uninterrupted space and time- both to do work, and to decompress. Make sure to check in frequently (twice a week is good!) to request in advance specific times when you cannot be disturbed. A communal list on the fridge with your class or meeting schedule is a great place to start! Maybe you’d like the bathroom for an hour on Thursday to take that sanctuary bubble bath? Or the dining room to yourself to have a virtual meal with a friend? Planned moments like those are one of the biggest ways to practice self-care at this time, so take advantage of them. Most importantly, when making this schedule, make sure everyone in the house has an equal chance to advocate for his or her individual needs, don’t leave anyone out.

4. It’s okay to be scared, but it's important to know how to live with that fear.

It’s normal to get in your head as you are in the grocery store, taking public transportation, or deciding to visit a friend, about potentially bringing the virus home to your family, especially if they are on the older side or immunocompromised. But it’s also important to internalize the reality that feeling will not go away anytime soon. Dr. Marcie reminded me that there is a lot we still don’t know about this pandemic, and how it will continue to impact our lives. And it’s also not selfish to make a choice to see a friend at this time. Many of us are feeling so isolated, that human connection has become a critical part of our mental health. So allow yourself some in person time, guilt free. Know that “the desire to go out in the world is not about being reckless, it’s about taking care of your mental health”, Dr. Marice said best. Just take deep breaths (cue the “Don’t Panic! episode again), do your best to stick to the rules your family agreed on, and know your desire to go out in the world is not about being reckless, it’s about you wanting to take care of your mental health.

5. Remember that this is actually really special.

For most of us, this is most likely the last time you will have an excuse to live under the same roof as your family. Remember in the day to day that this is a really unique moment in time. “Your sister will never annoy you on a day to day basis so much ever again.” says Dr. Marcie. That perspective is really powerful. At the end of the day, despite all the nagging, your family’s ‘habitual line stepping,’ and broken boundaries, “remember that these are people you love, they are family and good people,” says Dr. Marcie. Having the opportunity to live with them without external judgment and get to really know them as adults, may be one of the silver linings of this pandemic.

Special thanks to Dr. Marcie Beigel for help on this week’s blog post! To learn more about her, please visit her website, and follow her on social media, @drmarciebeigel on Facebook and Instagram.

And most importantly-watch her help Jane manage a panic attach on our most recent episode of Adulting with Jane!

^Parker, Kim and Igienik, Ruth. On the Cusp of Adulthood and Facing an Uncertain Future: What We Know About Gen Z So Far. Pew Research Center, May 2020. https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/essay/on-the-cusp-of-adulthood-and-facing-an-uncertain-future-what-we-know-about-gen-z-so-far/

And don't forget to watch our first-of-its-kind shoppable sitcom, Adulting with Jane!

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Updated: Nov 18, 2020

Unless you are living under the biggest, most wonderful rock in recorded history, you know that these are not normal times. Tensions are high. You may not have seen your colleagues, classmates, or even your closest friends in months. Many of us have settled into any job we could find just to get the bills paid (if we were lucky enough to find one), some of us have even moved back in with our parents in other states, and almost none of us are doing what we would really like to be doing right now. Heck, we are even binging Gossip Girl reruns to compensate for the lack of new content (or is that just me?!). While we know we are not the only ones that feel this way, that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard.

With all that being said, how can you stay connected to those you care about in this trying time? How can you even try to be a good friend to someone else when you yourself feel down? Here are some tips about how to be a good friend in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic.

1. Practice grace and empathy.

It’s easy to keep score in friendships. We are all guilty of that at some point or another. But, it’s important to remember to give your friends grace at this time, and hope they are able to give you the same. You may feel like you've been doing the majority of the emotional labor lately, or, on the flip side, you may have left too many texts unanswered. Whatever the circumstance, keep reminding yourself, we are living in unprecedented times. One of the worst things you can do is beat yourself or your bestie up about not responding to that call from a week ago. When you are ready to check in with that friend, you will. And, even if it’s been months, you will pick up where you left off. We all deserve to loosen the expectations of friendship and free ourselves and others of the guilt of what we “should” be doing.

2. Don’t press for answers.

You are worried your friend was furloughed, had to move out of their apartment, or in a really tough emotional situation. It’s kind that you are worried. But, don’t press. When your friend is ready to talk to you, they will. We put a lot of emphasis on the “catch-up” aspect of friendship, the expectation that you are always fully up to date with those closest to you. However, especially now, there is a lot to be said in just being an ear, no strings attached. Your friends may not want to admit to you or even themselves that they are struggling in this time, and speaking about it may only make them feel more self-conscious or stressed. When they are ready to open up, they will. Give them time.

3. Keep a busy social calendar and keep each other on it!

Do you want to see that Bollywood movie you and your friend abroad always said you would watch together? Go to an outdoor yoga class? Take that virtual Bobbi Brown Makeup Masterclass? Planning in advance will give you and your friends something to look forward to regularly. Now is also the time you can be purposeful in re-connecting with people in your life who have slipped through the cracks. Reach out for a reunion call with your high school friends! Have a free Sunday afternoon? See if you can get your dad’s side of the family to all do a ZOOM call together. Since everybody is inside these days, they have more time and motivation, just like you, to reach out and connect with one another. This time may be a blessing in disguise to bring more people into your life than ever before.

I hope these tips helped. Let me know a way that you reached out to a friend lately, and what you did! Did you get creative with your time? Did you practice empathy with each other? However you're doing it- you’re doing great.

And don't forget to watch our first-of-its-kind shoppable sitcom, Adulting with Jane!

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  • Angela Silak and Cindy Kaplan

Updated: Nov 18, 2020

From the co-founders of Hollywood Resumes, Angela Silak and Cindy Kaplan!

Thanks to Coronavirus, the job market is tougher than it has been in years. Now more than ever, you’ll need a strong resume to convince hiring managers that you’re the right candidate for the job. Whether you’re looking for your first job, seeking employment after a layoff, or simply ready to take the next step in your career, follow these guidelines to improve your resume.

1. Tell a story. Your resume is a marketing document that explains why you’re the right

candidate for the job, not a biography of everything you’ve ever done. Focus on the skills and experience that demonstrate why it makes sense for an employer to hire you, and use that to shape your resume story. Only include relevant experience -- if you’ve taken a temporary job, don’t include it unless it’s relevant to the job you’re applying for. You can explain a short or pandemic-related gap in an interview.

2. Give context. A good resume, like a good story, includes some set-up and background. The way you organize your resume gives much-needed context to your story -- if you want to tell the story that you’re a recent graduate who held multiple internships while in college, start with education, but if you want to convey that you have five years of experience in your field, lead with your most recent job. Contextualize each position by giving an overview of the company and/or department as your first bullet point and bolstering your skill bullets with achievements and project scope.

3. Match the job posting. If you want to know what a potential employer is looking for,

analyze the job posting! Read each listed qualification as if it were a question starting with, “Can you…” Any time the answer is yes, think about where you learned that skill and include a bullet point with those keywords under that position’s heading. If you match the verbiage from the posting, you’ll make it easier for hiring managers to see that you check the boxes they’re looking for.

4. Leave off intangible skills. Instead of listing “team player” “excellent communicator” or other soft skills, fuse them into the bullets under each job heading -- for example, you could indicate that you worked with a team or communicated cross-functionally on a project. Reserve the “skills” section on your resume for software, languages, and any industry-relevant technology or training.

5. Keep it easy to read. When it comes to format, less is more. A simple black-and-white,

one-page resume with a readable, modern font is best. In fact, a resume with straightforward formatting is more likely to make it through automated applicant tracking systems (ATS), while a resume made on a platform like Canva is virtually unreadable by those systems.

If you’re planning to look for a job in this new economy, take some time now to get your materials in order. If you follow these tips, you’ll have a great resume ready to go when you see an open opportunity you’re excited about!

And be sure to check out Hollywood Resume's site and sign up for their free mailing list for more tips!

And don't forget to watch our first-of-its-kind shoppable sitcom, Adulting with Jane!

This page contains affiliate links. If you purchase a product through one of them, Adulting with Jane receives a small commission (at no extra cost to you) that goes toward our production costs.

Help us, a small business, help other quality small businesses!